Struggling to Fit in

One thing I’ve learnt in my short stay at university is how hard it is to fit in. It probably isn’t this way for everyone, in fact it seems like everyone else formed groups and friends instantly. But thanks to shyness and anxiety I’m one of few in my department who hasn’t formed a friend group yet.

I do have one thing to take away from this though that I must pass on to you guys. Be yourself. It’s something to act a certain way so people like you or talk to you but as soon as that facade starts to slip you’ll find yourself either alone or with very fake ‘friends’ and that’s no way to live. Stay true to yourself and don’t force yourself, eventually you’ll attract like-minded people that will be real friends and support for you. I know everyone wants to fit in, and for most being on your own, especially in a new environment sucks, but it’s ok to enjoy some time on your own and meet people naturally. It’s going to be difficult but at the same time it’s necessary and everyone should be able to be on their own comfortably. It’s important to be social and be around people but it’s also important to be comfortable in your own company and with trusting yourself.

I would like to add though that even though I don’t talk to my dorm mates and I was alone on my first day of induction, I did meet some really kind people and I did talk to most of those in my tutorial group. Once one person starts to talk to you most will follow if they’re interested. It’s hard to understand why you’re on your own sometimes but, like in my case, those that look in thought and are on their own are often presumed to like being on their own. It’s all about how you handle yourself when you’re on your own that will dictate how people perceive you from the outside before talking to you.

Be happy, healthy and hopeful
~AJ

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