So today has been a difficult day for me personally, although I met up with two friends to get our lab coats (check out my daily updates for news on that later today) I have struggled with my self confidence since last night. So I wrote a post on the impromptu kayaking trip yesterday and since then I have been dealing with a surprising amount of anxiety and self-destructive thoughts on my appearances. I’d like to think I am pretty honest and open in my posts, I understand a lot of people will have the same thoughts, feelings and worries and me and I want to be as approachable and understanding as possible to try and help those that need comfort or understanding so I think it’s important for me to be as open with my anxieties as possible and my appearance causes the most anxiety for me.
I talked to some girls in my tutorial group and they were more than supportive of my anxieties and after thinking hard about it I appreciate that I do over-think and over worry about how people see me and how I come across. I’m going to start working harder to become healthier and happier while at university and I’m going to try harder to go out of my comfort zone to try new things and spend more time around people.
I’m still finding it somewhat hard to settle properly, I have a full clean of my bedroom and have gotten into a routine with cooking but I’m still having difficulty socializing and finding my way around campus. I know I haven’t been here long and it’s understandable to still be struggling but I’m finding myself more bothered about spending time alone than going out and enjoying the night life and the campus. I am slightly disappointed in myself since I had so much planned for adventures after arriving but at the same time I don’t think I should give myself a hard time with it, things like this should be done in your own time, it isn’t worth stressing over.