So there’s a lot of things I want to say today, it’s Saturday so I’ve finished classes for the week and I’ve had time to settle properly but now that I have some free time to think I find myself worrying more so now than ever. I have a lot to do this weekend now that I have time to actually get things done. I have started to feel the loneliness of the move now which is why I didn’t post yesterday. I have voiced my pride on my adapting abilities before in posts and I have talked about my reasoning behind my thought processes regarding the move, however with my birthday being tomorrow I really do feel more alone than ever.
I am trying to be more confident and positive, and I have been surprisingly so compared to what I used to be like, however I think it is important to share the bad parts of my experiences just as much as my positive experiences. So, how has the last two days been? I am still aching after kayaking and I have found myself with next to no money until I get student finance so I’m literally rationing my meals and budgeting everything as much as I can. This will probably be a separate post about budgeting tips and cheap student meal plans once I figure it out for myself.
Classes start on Monday and my classes actually look like so much fun thankfully and there’s only one classroom that I don’t know where it is so I’m not too worried. Classes have been good this week and I have enjoyed meeting new people in my classes but I’m getting worried that my new friends have the wrong idea about me. Both of my closer friends have become surprisingly protective of me since I met them and although I appreciate their kindness and understanding of my anxiety I wonder if they think of me as useless or incapable or childish. I hope the more time we spend together the more we will learn about each other but for the time being I am anxious to know how they feel about me.
University-related problems have started arising that I’m having to deal with, money, jobs, volunteering hours and social lives are all starting to need to be factored into my life and I’m having to quickly adjust to the change in lifestyle. Having to adapt quickly is difficult, especially when there are other things going on at the same time, but I think pacing myself will be the key to not burning out and getting stressed. I think a lot of people will struggle with the lifestyle balance that’s needed, especially people that have lived with their parents up until now. I’m somewhat lucky in the fact that I haven’t lived with my mum in three years so I’ve been most self-dependent in that time but I think I am struggling more because it is a new environment and area that I’m having to completely re-discover.
Looking for work is hard, having to find a job that I’ll get relevant work experience on is even harder even though I live at the coast. I only really have weekends free so trying to find work in that time-frame is difficult to say the least. Id like to think I’ll find a way around it but I have a very short time-frame to do it in.
But one thing to look forward to is once I do find a job I will be able to go out on adventures in my free time. Weekend jobs are ideal because the coastal town I live in pretty much shuts down on the weekend so I won’t be missing out on much and it means I can go out as much as I want after classes and on my days off. My first plan of action, since I have a reading week ( a week off of timetable and university where you have to self studying) I will be able to get some extra hours in at work and go out to explore and do some fun activities.
I hope you guys have enjoyed your week and I’ll have a birthday update tomorrow.
Be happy, healthy and hopeful