Premature Worrying

9/1/2017

Today’s morning mantra!
“Always do what you are afraid to do” ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

I worry a lot, and I know I do. I like to feel prepared and deal with things at the earliest possible point. Recently my newest worry has been moving out. I move out of my dorm in June and while we were told to start looking for new places in April people have already started signing contracts for places. Usually I would deal with my stress one of two ways, talk to friends or deal with it in my own head, however since this is something that I genuinely have minimal knowledge of I feel more concerned than usual. It feels like I’ve been left behind by my friends, everyone has already picked people to move in with for our second year and no-one has even asked me how far I’m getting with looking for somewhere let alone asking me to join them. Most student places are shared so friend groups tend to move in together yet here I am…friendless and panicking over whether I’ll be forced to live with a huge group of people I don’t know and may not get along with for another year.

I was so excited for second year, looking at places to move into but feeling like I’m on my own makes me hate the idea now. University has made me feel more alone than I think I have ever been before.

I feel like this is one of the few things up until now in my life that I don’t think I can deal with on my own, but at the same time for reason it feels like I can’t really go to anyone about my worries. My anxiety usually gets dismissed or criticised so I’m starting to distance myself from the few people that I actually talk to since they, too, dismiss me.

This post is going to be a short post since not only am I feeling especially gloomy today but I am revising for an exam tomorrow. Wish me luck.

Be happy, healthy and hopeful
~AJ

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